how can I miss you when you won't go away?

British booksellers are politely telling Katie Price (?) thanks, but no thanks.

"Book chains including Blackwell's have said they will not be stocking her latest offering unless managers specifically request copies.

A spokesman said: "She has done three already.

"This is not a book we would say to our readers, 'You must buy'."

Waterstone's has also indicated that it would only make the books available in its stores "if we thought it was the right thing to do."

Because that's the guiding principle behind stocking all manner of memoir.